A Fairy's Tale- True or False?
by pikaree1
Summary: Zelgadis is still searching for a cure, and Luna decides to take pity on him and tell Lina what it is. Amelia's in the dark, Gourry and Xellos are camera men, Filia's a mother, and Val has a nest. Parody of Princess and the Frog. ZelAme oneshot!


**Petal: *invisible* Mwa ha ha… Zeeeelgaaaadiiiiis…**

**Zelgadis: Who's there?!**

**Petal: *snickers* Heh… It's that fisherman guy's wife that looked like you… Your aunt Mezinda… I've come back to haunt you…**

**Zelgadis: Ghosts aren't real… Ghosts aren't real…**

**Petal: Ooh-oooh-ooh…**

**Zelgadis: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!1**

**Petal: *materializes* Heh heh! You shoulda seen your face, Zel!**

**Zelgadis: …What is it with redheads and the teasing?  
**

**Petal: What? But I'm giving you a cure! Lina never did that!**

**Zelgadis: What is it you wish of me, O Great One?**

**Petal: Do the disclaimer.**

**Zelgadis: Pikaree1 don't own Slayers or The Princess and the Frog.**

Zelgadis shuffled into Seyruun after another fruitless search for his cure. _Oh well,_ he thought forlornly. _Might as well take this opportunity to visit Amelia._ He froze when he realized his fatal mistake- had he been talking aloud while Lina was around, but details don't matter. _Lina, Gourry, and Filia, too!_ he quickly added. Just then, he heard two familiar voices:

"NAMAGOMI! STAY STILL SO I CAN HIT YOU!"

"Gack! Filia! You'll ruin V-chan's little nest!"

"Grr…"

Zelgadis sweatdropped. These two obviously hadn't changed a bit. He decided to interrupt before they killed each other. "Filia! Xellos!" he called, entering Filia's small shop.

They both turned towards him. _I spoke too soon,_ he thought. _They _have_ changed, just not personality-wise._ Filia had cut her hair short, and her tail didn't stick out like it usually did. Xellos, meanwhile, had a mess on top of his head aside from his usual neat bob-cut. Zelgadis pointed at it. "What in L-sama's name is that?"

"That," Filia snickered, "is Val's nest." She gestured towards a crib that contained a baby version of Valgaav- minus the scars and horn, of course, and he was wearing an adorable little blue outfit. Zelgadis shuddered and sweatdropped. _So cutesy, you can't even tell who he was in his past life._

All of a sudden, the baby dragon's eyes opened. He immediately hopped onto Xellos's head. "Papa!" he cried gleefully, settling onto the mess. "Nest!" Then he pulled out a chibi mace-sama and proceeded to whack Xellos with it. On the head. Repeatedly. To the point where, had he not been a mazoku, he would have gotten brain damage. Ouch.

"He's my son alright, adopted or no," Filia sighed happily.

Zelgadis sweatdropped again. "Well…" he said nervously, "it was nice seeing you guys again- actually, only Filia. Oh, and good luck raising Val. Bye!" Just as he was about to make his speedy exit- more like hasty escape- Filia stopped him.

"Wait!" she called as she removed Val from Xellos's head, much to the plumhead's relief. "Before you leave town, you should visit the castle! Lina told me a few weeks ago that her sister told her about your cure!"

That peaked Zelgadis's interest. "Really? I'll be sure to stop by the castle, then." He noticed Xellos making faces at Filia. "Thanksseeyalaterbyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyye!" With the speed of Lina and Gourry towards a restaurant, he zoomed towards the palace.

Filia placed Val back in his crib and turned to Xellos. "Did you get all that on camera?" When the mazoku nodded, she pulled out a walkie-talkie. "This is DragonPriestess to ChaosChanneler! The Rock is on the move!"

"Got it!" a static voice replied. "JellyfishSwordsman, SeyruunPrincess and I are in position! Oh, and tell NamagomiMazoku that I'll Ragna Blade him into the next millennium if he loses that footage!"

Xellos sweatdropped. "Uh, Lina, I can hear you just fine…"

"GOOD!" The sorceress hung up, leaving Xellos and Filia wondering why they needed code names.

Zelgadis blew past the guards and threw the palace doors open. "LINA!" he bellowed. "TELL ME MY CURE!"

Lina's voice floated down from above. "Come up to Amelia's room! We've got everything set up over here!"

It took all his willpower to walk up the stairs like a civilized person instead of Ray Winging through the ceiling- or would it be the floor? Whatever. When he reached the princess's room, he saw Lina with something behind her back, an excited Amelia, and Gourry with a camera. Zelgadis sweatdropped and pointed at the camera with a questioning finger.

"Miss Lina wanted Mister Gourry to video tape the incredible moment you became human again!" Amelia explained cheerfully. "Come in, come in! Miss Lina wouldn't tell me what the cure was, but now I can find out!" Her voice dropped to a low whisper. "When I asked, she said, 'Sore wa himitsu desu.' I think Mister Xellos is rubbing off on her."  
Zelgadis refrained from voicing his irritation at the idea of an annoying, Xellos-ified Lina and simply said, "My cure?"

"Right. So I heard you liek Mudkipz?" the carrot head said with a straight face.

Zelgadis facefaulted. "Lina, please be serious!"

She rolled her eyes. "Fine." She brought a slim book out from behind her back. "According to Luna, your cure is quite simple. It's written in this book, The Princess and the Frog."

Zelgadis's eye twitched. "Lina. I'm not a frog."

"Of course I know that, Zel!" she exclaimed, rolling her eyes. "That's why I wrote an adaptation, The Princess and the Rock!" She pulled a handwritten paperback out of her cloak. "Be grateful. I could've been out killing bandits now that they aren't in the critically endangered zone anymore instead of writing this."

Zelgadis started ramming his head against a wall. "This authoress has a weird sense of humor."

Oops. It was the fourth wall. Look, can you guys please just do what you're supposed to?

"With pleasure!" Lina snickered. "So, Zel, you don't believe in this cure?"

"Of course not. It's a children's story!"

"Well too bad!" the sorceress crowed. "You're acting in a play of this to amuse the kids of the palace!"

Zelgadis sent Gourry a pitiful look. "Just kill me now."

* * *

Zelgadis glared at Lina. "I hate you so much right now…"

"Love you too, Zel!" she responded brightly. "Relax, you'll be great onstage!"

The chimera sighed and hit his head against a steel block that a maid had so thoughtfully nailed to a wall- not the fourth one this time. "Once upon a time, there was a beautiful princess," Lina narrated. "She was beloved by all in the kingdom, and she had a justice-loving heart. One day she was walking around on a mountain, blasting rocks for training."

Amelia pounded several rocks flat onstage. As she approached a humanoid blue one, it backed away. She stared at it in confusion.

"Don't hit me!" Zelgadis yelped. "I'm not actually a rock! I was transformed into one by my great-grandfather, Red King Rezo!"

"The princess, deciding it would be just to help the rock man, asked what she could do to remedy the situation."

"What can I do to help you?!" Amelia cried.

"The only thing that can break the spell is… is… is…! ARGH! I can't say it!"

Lina rolled her eyes and walked onto the stage. "I knew this would happen… 'A beautiful, intelligent sorceress approached the two and explained the cure.' Listen up, 'cuz I'll only say it once: the only cure for Mr. Rock over there is for a princess to kiss him."

From the audience, a certain lilac fish girl screamed, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Everyone ignored her.

Amelia flushed red and gulped. "Well, Mister Zelgadis… I guess this is it…" Zelgadis turned a rather interesting shade of purple. 'Cuz he's blue like that.

The couple kissed, Gourry caught it on tape, Lina and Xellos laughed, Filia hit Xellos, the Seyruun royals sobbed about their little Ame-chan finally growing up, Naga laughed maniacally in some temple that had treasure, Pokota wondered if the same method would free him, and Val continued his nap. Zelgadis began to glow, and when the light finally faded, a human with silvery blue ("IT'S LAVENDER!" some blue-haired guy screamed. "Be quiet, James, you're interrupting the motto!" reprimanded a magenta-haired woman. "Besides, they aren't talking about you!" added a cat-like creature on two legs who we shall call Meowth.) hair- not wire!- and pale skin stood in his place. The man looked down at his hands and, in an awed voice, said, "I'm cured." He stared at Amelia. "I'm cured." He slowly began to smile. "I'M CURED! AMELIA, I'M CURED! LINA, I SHOULDN'T EVER HAVE DOUBTED YOU!" Delirious with joy, he kissed Amelia again and ran off in a random direction screaming, "I'M CURED!" while Yappi started sulking about how 'Zelly-poo' didn't have his first kiss with her. Everyone else who was present was beginning to get aggravated with her wailing and wondered if she tasted like fish.

Amelia stood stock still, a blush rising up her face, and then she fainted. Xellos fainted, too, but for a different reason ("It's due to an overload of positive energy," the court physician announced.)

Lina grinned at the audience. "And the couple got married, and they made sure to invite the incredible sorceress who pushed them together. The end!"

A few weeks later, Inspector Wizer gave Lina a heavy bag of gold, and when asked why by Pokota, he replied, "Because she's Lina Inverse! Haven't you heard of the Princess and the Rock incident yet?"

**Petal: Yeah, I stink at endings. How ya doin' over there, Zel?  
**

**Zelgadis: I'M CURED! I'M CURED! I'M CURED~!**

**Petal: …Maybe we should stick him somewhere quiet until he calms down.**

**Lina: Did Zel just use a ~? Is he sick?  
**

**Gourry: Nope, he's just happy!**

**Lina: You're being exceptionally perceptive today, Gourry!**

**Gourry: And soon, Prince Phil will come and demand that Zel marries Amelia, and Zel will probably do it because he's so happy!**

**Phil: Zelgadis! Marry Amelia!**

**Zelgadis: Sure! I'M FREE!**

**Amelia: Review!**


End file.
